Not Without My Baby 4

So the thought came to me today that I should chuck this whole city planning thing and become an actor. Why? I really can't say other than that it's not a crime to impersonate an actor while I guess it is to impersonate a city planner.

I think I'll get started doing something small, like a made-for-cable-tv-movie. I've basically narrowed it down to two networks: LMN (Lifetime Movie Network) and G4 (The Nerd Channel). I think that I'll pick the lowest common denominator and go with LMN. Now you may be questioning my masculinity going for such a choice (and you're right to do so), but I'd just like to say that during my 3 1/2 weeks of unemployment I did some things I'm not proud of, like spending 15 minutes watching LMN. Please Don't Judge Me.

So I thought I'd start with something very small and low-budgety, like Not Without My Baby 4, the saga of a woman to get her baby back AT ALL COSTS. Two possible roles come to mind for me: bumbling East German official, or delivery truck driver. I especially like the delivery truck driver option because I could use footage of me as a delivery truck driver in my possible life as a professional delivery truck driver. In any case, the movie would have to feature me doing an awkward who-on-earth-would-say-that-in-real-life kind of line like: "All will be well if we follow the leader's plan." After dangerous encounters and glamourous headshots, the movie would end with an amazing song by an 80's big hair band and the credits rolling over a tropical sunset.

I really haven't thought how I'd pursue my career from there. Possibly I would have the option to star in Double Mint gum commercials with my real-life twin Mickey Rooney, or I would have to (Grrrrrr) become a VJ on MT2. Wish me luck everybody.