PeTA and I

So I think I might get a pet. And by thinking, I mean that I will obsess over it for about a week and then go back to the idea in a year or so.

I know I can't get a cat or a dog. I doubt my landlord would be OK with that, and I just don't have the time for the love required of dog ownership. I don't think I want a cat until I know how to train a cat to use a toilet, like on t.v., or to do my bidding. I'm contented right now with being the cool uncle to my sister's Boston terriers.

So I've settled on a small animal. Lizards, hamsters, mice, guinea pigs, or gerbils all come to mind. I even thought of a tarantula, but spiders creep me out unless, of course, the spider can pull its weight by stealing things or performing amusing tricks.

I've looked into getting a hobbit, but I don't think they export them from New Zealand. Because of the diseases there, really.

In any case, I have a naming philosophy for pets.

Option 1: Your pet's name has to be the exact opposite of you. A jock, for example, would have a Pomeranian named Mr. Squiggles. I could have a Great Dane named BoFlex.

Option 2: Your pet's name has to be the exact opposite of its own qualities. A Chihuahua would have to be G.I. Joe, or a German Shepherd would have to be called Pussywillow.

Option 3: State Capitals or State Names. Indiana, like the movie franchise Indiana Jones, is the most famous fictional example. Sacramento is a good name for a Minx cat.

Option 4: Add the name "Smokey" "Magic" or "Dusty" to any name whatsoever. I met a cat named Smokey Joe, and I believe that this philosophy really works.

Please let me know what you think about what I should get. I mainly want cheap, not disgusting, and fun to play, cuddle, or make mischief with.

And always remember to have your pet spayed or neutered.