Monkey(s)

I was informed by my brother that I should actually get a helper monkey, maybe even two. One should be called Smoking Joe Frazier. He didn't specifiy the potential second monkey's name, but I think "On My Back: With a Vengence" would be a good name. On My Back, because it's a nice play on words, and With a Vengence to stay with the naming guidelines I outlined below.

There are numerous advantages to helper monkeys, particularly if they can change their own diapers (or help change each others' diapers). I've always wanted minions, and city planners really don't have minions as a rule. My monkeys/minions could wash my clothes, feed me, and collect brains from cadavers (this is a requirement to be called a minion). In addition, I should teach them how to use an ATM and roller skates (for nights at the roller rink).