Three Wishes

The other day, someone asked me what I thought about the weather here in Fresno. Naturally, the topic soon turned to what I'd do with three wishes, should I ever be granted any. Now, some people want crazy things like money, the ability to fly, or fame and fortune. That's fine and dandy for some, but I think it's rather impractical. I thought I'd let y'all know what I'd do with three wishes.

For starters, I really only need two.

Wish #1: Teleportation Powers. Because flying takes too long. Let's face it, if you wanted to, say, feed a kangaroo in Australia for lunchtime, you'd have to fly all the way there and back. And let's face it, that would just take too long. Teleportation gives you all the benefits of flying without the hastle of dodging planes, bugs, and mountains. Okay, you may not have the thrill of flying, but you'd get there faster and could even bring a friend. And you play some really cool pranks- Peekaboo anyone?

Wish #2: A crime-fighting tiger. One that would let me ride and pet it, and one that would have the temperament of a well-trained German shepherd. Think of it: not only would I have a tiger, but the tiger would benefit the community by stopping criminals. Plus, the tiger would let me ride it with my locks of man-beautiful hair flapping in the wind (Is there really any other way to ride a tiger?). The following is an artist's/my rendering in a JPEG of what the tiger would look like.

I'd technically have one wish left, but I don't think I'd really need it because my first two wishes are so cool. Now, you may be think that I should use my last wish to end world poverty or bring world peace, but I think you're being selfish and should get your own three wishes.