The other day I found out that the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America) is coming out with new rules for ratings. We're in for a large round of changes. Namely, that any movie that glamorizes smoking will receive an automatic R rating because of inappropriate content. Never mind that people actually, *gasp*, smoke in public places no lessall the time. I was frankly taken aback at this because, well, who doesn't love the fresh scent of tobacco and stale booze in bus depots, casinos, and tattoo parlors? Nevertheless, people will still try to express their love of tobacco in movies and television. The following is my prediction of specific scenarios where tobacco use will occur on the big and little screen:
* Chewing tobacco. I can picture a celebrity, say [Insert name of a famous, wild and partying 20-something here] chewing a nice wad of tobacco and spitting it out, getting her nice dress covered in brown, yummy chaw juice. This naturally leads to...
* Spittoons everywhere. They have such a nice retro 1870s look to them. I bet you could find some at a flea market in Kentucky or West Virginia. Imagine your favorite crime or mob drama with grandpa's old spittoon in it.
* Snuff. Sure, you may deplore the damage it does to, well, everything above your navel, but it's not a cigarette, so it won't warrant an 'R' rating. Plus, you can rediscover the joys of 1640s-science in smearing a chunky brown carcinogen on your gums or inhaling it into a bodily orifice.
Seriously, folks. Don't smoke- not only because smoking causes cancer, but because it'll warrant you an R.
The plant in question. Photo courtesy of the USDA.
1 comment:
maybe you should get your crime-fighting tiger in on this. i bet he could rustle some leaves on this smokin' not issue.
grrr!
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