I've got goals in life. Big Goals. Awesome Goals. Amazing goals.
My next goal: A super, fantastic, flowingly beautiful mullet.
Yup. You heard me. A mullet. A business-in-the-front, party-in-the-back mullet. The calm before the storm.
I got this brilliant idea today when I realized how liberating, how refreshing, how beautiful it is to have long locks of luxurious hair caressing your neck. Now, you may ask, whence the mullet? It hit me. My awesomeness would triple, yes, triple by having a mullet. It puts me in a whole new social class. Really, it does.
And so, I think I know what I'll say to the hairstylist (probably one of my roommates). "Mullet me." It's like when women go to their hairstylist and say: "Aniston me." The only thing to do is choose a style and make the commitment. For after Halloween (I still have big plans for my hair-it's part of my costume). For at least a full week.
So to commence this, please read the following material from this website. For your convenience, I've reproduced the most important paragraph:
Wait for your hair to grow. At first, your mullet will be childish and weak. Visualize your mullet the way you'd like it to be, flowing and beautiful. Now, picture your mullet challenging Rod Stewart's to a duel. Daily exercises like this one will help your mullet develop the confidence it needs to flourish.
Any feedback is encouraged.
3 comments:
Not only would your awesomeness triple, but so would your social classification, in the minus. Well I guess math is not my strong suit, but you catch me drift. Do it buddy!
Wow, first a beard, then a mullet. You are growing up so fast (sob). Good luck-I recommend the more urbane Seinfield look myself. I see Chad there.
Trading a beard for a mullet?? Fun blog, Chad. Love the onion. Oh, and on the cinco de chado, remind me sometime to tell you about the research project my friend is working on... she's compiled survey statistics on dating from LDS YSA wards across the state... and is considering publishing her results in the peer-reviewed literature.
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