Questionable Questions of Questionness

As I'm sitting here on my lunch break, eating a hot pocket and whittling down my enamel with soda pop (notice the region-neutral phrasing), I thought I'd mention a moral debate I had last night with some of the Germans folks I know. It was a nice night on a restaurant terrace, and the topic turned to the recent killing of Osama bin Laden. They were up in arms about German Chancellor and pant-suit enthusiast Angela Merkel's statement that she was happy about Osama bin Laden's death. I thought: "You tell it sister! Testify! [insert clapping sound here]" Apparently some CRAZY people have the idea that rejoicing in another person's death is morbid and macabre. Not me. I say if I found Osama bin Laden in my kitchen, trying to steal my high-fiber food products, I'd have every right as a native-born Texan to do the same. With a shotgun.
Then the debate began. Normally I try to avoid debates, but sometimes I just can't help myself. I think that I am right 95.86% of the time (sometimes I'm gassy or have to pee, which affects my judgment). Plus, it was three on one, and my little man instincts were awoken (at 5' 8 1/4", they mostly slumber). I mean, this was the guy that killed 3,000 Americans on September 11. And he was trying to kill more. So why not shoot the guy?
Their argument, which they tag-teamed: You should always give someone a trial, even if they are a murderer. We live in a land of laws, and we shouldn't lower ourselves to their level. If he was unarmed, why not arrest him?
My response: We don't really know all the details, so we can't really judge. Even if it was somewhat questionable to kill him (which I don't think it was), I think it's OK to be happy that the jerk is dead. I mean, do we need to put him on trial to find out that he (gasp) organized 9/11? And had I been alive in 1945, I'd have been OK with a certain Austrian's untimely end. And one bit, which I didn't mention, is that I'm proud of our servicemen and women who risked their lives in this operation. They were real heroes in this story.
I don't think that my arguments were that persuasive or even that cogent. Given that the debate was in German and my statements went something like: "Osama bin Storeshop is been very bad man who go to Hades on techno subway. I like rejoice when bad people have ending good for us," Who is to blame my debate partners? I mean, I could have been wrong, too. I had three soda pops and a water, so I really had to wee.
Obligatory patriotic copyright-free picture of our 20th President, James A Garfield:

Geez, I have to Iron my Kilt Again

Good Day, Everyone!

I was in a hipster-infested magazine store yesterday to buy an obscure news magazine. By obscure I mean German, and by news magazine I mean der Spiegel. Didn't have it. In any case, I was looking at the news periodicals, when I saw a man in a skirt. A pleated skirt. I walked behind him, pretending to look at the magazine but really trying to find out if this man was wearing baggy shorts (to hide his girth) or a proper skirt. I mean kilt. The answer came when I saw the label: it was a kilt brand that markets kilts to the active man.

This has obviously led to much introspection. Is it ever appropriate for a dude to wear a kilt? I took a look at the kilt brand's gallery and said maybe. If you're hunting a bear with a battle ax and deer blood (as bait), then yes, no one should be able to question your manhood. Or if you're the guitarist in a metal band, you have enough testosterone to wear a kilt. If you are building a house or a bear trap, then you can wear a kilt. If you are fighting Al Qaeda and drug smugglers in Afghanistan, then you can wear a kilt.

But for me and my friend in the magazine store, even if that kilt is made by Bonnie Prince Charlie himself, I can never wear a kilt.

Done.