Scientists are trying to bring back this animal, the Tazzie Tiger, which went extinct in the early 1900s. They apparently have enough DNA to clone it by using a tiger or some other feline as a surrogate parent. So I thought to myself- who would I bring back from the grave if I could? I propose the following celebrities/ personalities.
Edgar Allen Poe
- His poems were so amazing, and he died tragically young. And he liked nature. I think that for bringing Poe back he would have to: A) recite his poems at a party of mine for Halloween or the Winter Solstice, B) Accompany me on shopping trips to freak out the other customers, and C) Accompany me on double dates with a girl that I choose for him. I think because he's kinda creepy and married his cousin, it would make me look really good.
Chester A. Arthur- Mainly because of his amazing mustache, his cool mutton chops, and his snazzy suit. Plus, you could go up to him and say: "Wow! It's Chester A. Arthur! We hardly knew ye!"
Mary Shelley- the author of Frankenstein. She could help me with A) finding corpse parts B) Assembling them into a monster, and C) Writing the great American novel (Although she's British, she would give me perspective).
Cher. I don't have a picture of her, but that's not really the point. I am really indifferent towards her music, but I'm not indifferent towards her Fresno-ness. She briefly attended Fresno High (she never graduated). But I take pride in the fact that she is a celebrity and from my home town and has A) never been in prison, B) doesn't belong in prison C) doesn't look or smell like she belongs in prison (Unlike K Fed), D) hasn't played someone who works in prison (Mayor Bubba excluded- he was more of celebrity), and E) hasn't been on Star Trek Voyager (like a certain Fresnan).
Not all of us are like Dick Clark, who took a thirty-year break from aging. Do I want the same kind of eternally young treatment? Maybe in a few years. I'm not quite at the peak of my pre-botox perfection.
