Chad the Springfielder

I thought you might like me as a Simpsonized character. Here I am. Does this really capture me well?

Thanks, Nama

No, Sorry I Can't Have that- I'm a Freegan

This week I saw something about Freegans on the BBC news telecast BBC World News (yes, even my news choices are proper and British). Freegans are, for the lack of a better word, dumpster divers. The cheapest people in the world. And hence I salute you.

Freegans get their food from the dumpster instead of from the supermarket like us "normals." It's almost like a sport to them. They do it out of "political reasons" to "make a point."They get really excited when they find stuff that is valuable. Apparently, half of the food that is thrown out is perfectly edible. Would a dumpster change that? No way, say the freegans.

Fusing recommendations from the BBC and my extensive experience dumpster diving (I did go with a master freegan one time at a dumpster in back of a Domino's), I present to you my tips for a safe and pleasant freegan experience.

1. Supermarkets, restaurants, and rich condominiums are the best places to go.

2. Avoid needles or any sharp objects.

3. You know if it is bad if it: a) smells bad or b) tastes bad.

4. Gloves are preferable but not required.

5. If you find an unopened bag, you still need to inspect it before you eat it.

My freegan experience, if you may know, did not end up with my eating the food. The people who actually got the pizza out of the dumpster distributed it to people's doorsteps. One of my old roommates told me it tasted pretty good, if a bit luke warm.

I'll need to remember that this is all for "political reasons" to "help save the world." I do have a date coming up some time soon.

Caption: Me, with another former roommate and master freegan. I have covered his face with the Union Jack to protect his identity until he chooses, in his own time, to reveal himself.

Link to the Freegan story (text): http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/6933744.stm

Question

Yesterday I learned the name of the person who has been living in my apartment for the past week. The problem is, however, I have seen this guy several times a day. Does it make me a bad person that it took me so long to find out his name?