Clay Pot: $1.50, Soil: $1.22, Catnip (2 Packs): $1.94

Unholy army of cat minions: Priceless.

So, as I have explained in this blog post before, there is a slight problem with wild cats in my neighborhood. It has subsided recently, probably because they have gone to live with a nice family on a farm (like my childhood dog), but I can spot a wild cat or two romping through my yard every day or two. Plentiful for my purposes.

But I had never gotten the hang of how I can turn these independent spirits into loyal servants.

Until now.

I have been considering planting a small garden in pots in my back porch. I was thinking about maybe a vegetable, or some California poppies, or Texas Bluebonnets, or even a sunflower. And then I spotted catnip at Wal-Mart for only $0.97 a packet. And my problems were solved.

How do I get a cat, the most disobedient pet to do my bidding? Lemony, minty catnip- they'll be hooked in no time.

And at only $4.71 total at Wal-Mart, it's practically a steal.

This Autobiography will be Bigger than "Don't Hassel the Hoff"

I share the following story with implied oral consent and not expressed written consent. Be warned.

So someone I know told me of his terrible experience with the elementary school field day. George (name changed) was number one in his elementary school power walk. He was champion for years. A badge of triumph, if you ask me. He continued until the judges suspected that he was not really power walking. They made him walk past him, inspecting him to see if he really was power walking. No, George wasn't because both feet were not on the ground at both times and hence he was running.

Scandalous, I know, but I got this from George's own mouth.

And then I thought of what people will remember from my life, and the autobiography that I know will practically write itself. It will be entitled: "Bake it at 375 Degrees with a Pound of Love: the Chad Riding Story" I've had this in mind for several years. The cover page will have a picture of me in front of a beautiful rainbow and cloud filled sunset and objects representing my accomplishments in life.

Chad's Life Accomplishments, as taken from "Bake it at 375 Degrees with a Pound of Love: The Chad Riding Story"

1. Nobel Peace Prize AND Nobel Literature Prize before the age of 30

2. Perpetual Motion Machine

3. UF SPA club presidency

4. Cutest baby in the world

5. Bringing Britney Spears back from the edge

6. Inventing a spoon combined with a straw and a fork

7. The George Foreman-Chad Riding grill and pretzel maker

8. Losing to George Bush at Jeopardy (the categories were rigged, Alex Trebek had it out for me)

9. Saving Christmas from Terrorists
10. Inventing a Food Better than Chocolate

Balanced Day

SO, today was a well balanced day. School work, shopping, carnies at a medieval faire I got free tickets to, free food, and scrabble. More details to come.

Se jatkuu ja sitten se loppuu (Be warned!)

This is the Worst Music Video Ever (I wanna love you tender) by Finnish artists Armi and Dani. I like the Grease-like ending.

This is Finnish YMCA. It is disturbing. I warn you! (but it's not that disturbing!)

And I tell you, I have no more bizarre Finnish videos up my sleeve. For now.

Minä rakastan sinua. Rakastatko minua?

Finns make disco a fine art. That's all I gotta say.

Ist das nicht ein Blogentry?

Ja, das ist ein Blogentry!

So I found this website. It's in German, and, well, mildly disturbing because it deals with Lederhosen. And I'm not entirely proud of it. But you can get this result:

http://www.huettengaudi.de/?dance=zbd4pz71je5f813h

All I need to do is see a dog and a cat hug and I'll have seen it all.

Auf Wiedersehen!

Old and Lovin' It

With two months before my 25th birthday, I am now officially old.
But it really has nothing to do with my age.
I was sitting on my bed the other night at 10:00 pm thinking about what to do. "Geez," I said to myself, "I can read, watch tv, chat with the roommates, have other types of fun, or go to bed." "Tough choice," I replied. After careful consideration, I spoke up. "Sleep" I said. "Good idea," I reaffirmed.
So I chose sleep over fun and am officially old.
Not as if anyone should blame me. On my way to work taking the NPR express, I discovered something called second sleep. Apparently, no one had really known what sleep was like before electric lights provided the option of shucking more corn or tatting a doilie at 11:00 pm. So researchers took normal, modern people and put them in an "ancient" environment of 14 hours of dark. Guess what happened? People started sleeping in shifts. After seven hours of sleep, people would wake up for "a few hours of quiet, attentive tranquility." That would be followed by four more hours of something Homer called "second sleep." I don't know about you, but having a second sleep is much cooler than having only a first sleep. So my decision of sleeping over fun is quite understandable.
I just hope I turn out to be a cute old person.